Friday, April 13, 2007

My Presidential Endorsement Goes To...

OK, this is not a political blog. In fact, I try to scrupulously avoid politics here when I can. I've only slipped up a couple of times, but I have come to the conclusion that the only answer for The United States in 2008 is... Wes Studi.

Draft Wes!



Forget your Anglacized-Mexican-American presidential candidates like Bill Richardson; forget your Islamicized-African-American presidential candidates like Barak Obama - and, let's be honest; anybody but Hillary - You know what I want? I want a NATIVE-AMERICAN President of The United States!

Let's visit the issues, shall we?

Homeland Security.

Well, Wes is 110% Cherokee. Didn't even learn English until he entered gradeschool. Obviously, the Cherokee were all about "Homeland Security" long before Colombus... hell, before even Leif Erikson. You elect Wes, and... well, I wonder how jihadis will react to the toughest warriors The Great Spirit ever gave pairs of balls to... in full war paint... with all the modern tech they gave up their hunting grounds to produce. Dig?

The Global War on Terror.

I like Wes' odds versus the House of Sad Saud.

"I was born in Oklahoma, Sheik. My ancestors killed all of those fossils that made your oil. We want it back now."

Global Warming Climate Change.

"My ancestors repeatedly burned the middle of continental north America to clear it for buffalo and maize fields. Any more dumbass hypotheses?"

The Economy.

"The Great Spirit endowed man with the ability to trade. So, let's strike a bargain like the good capitalists that God wants us to be, OK?"

Anyway, that's my endorsement: Let's have a real American in the Whitehouse, shall we? Though, Wes might very well end up the first president in full body armor in a combat zone with a streetsweeper. I'm kinda doubting John "Ambulance Chaser" Edwards would do the same.

That's what I love about America: We piss and moan in each other's faces all the day long, but at the end of the day - and behind all of the hyphens - we're Americans. And, we ought to be able to laugh about it.

At least, I like to think so.

This message was brought to you by the Hucbald for Studi campaign.

"Hi, I'm Wes Studi and I didn't have a damned thing to do with this message!"

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