Mid-Life Crisis Lust Object
Take a look at the Parker Nylon Fly:
With a list price of $4,399.00 and a best price of $3,299.97, I think this qualifies as a mad, mad, mad, mad purchase: Perfect for a desperado in decline.
Fortunately, one of the benefits of being a Certified Old Fart is that you have developed an extensive network of contacts that you can network with in your half century (!!) of life. Meet my ace-in-the-hole (a-hole, for short), Mark Pollock of Transpecos Guitars. Turns out Mark may be able to get me one for less than any publishable price, and in only a few weeks. Age and treachery will beat youth an enthusiasm every time.
Also fortunately, I don't know any young women who look like this, because if I did I'd probably be sorely tempted to make an utter, abject fool of myself (Yeah, yeah: "No big stretch." I know).