Sunday, June 17, 2007

To Kill an iBook

I hate computers. Seriously. Absolutely detest them. Why are they not like TV sets? You turn them on, and they are on. Why do we have to wait for them to get ready for us to use them? There is no excuse as far as I'm concerned. They should behave like the appliances that they are and they sould be ready instantly whenever we want. They should also never f#¢* up.

I use Macs because they suck marginally less than PC's do. They still suck, but they suck a little less. I've destroyed several PC's over the years... OK, quite a few, actually... but tonight I had to euthanize my first Mac. Actually, I terminated it with extreme prejudice.

I have absolutely zero tolerance for s#!+ that doesn't work.

Today's drama started with my upgrading my old G3 500 iBook (The very first "iceBook" model - I was the first kid on the block with a white iBook) to OS X 10.4 tiger. I had upgraded my even older tiBook G4 400MHz and my Mac Mini G4 1.25GHz with no problem, and so this was totally unexpected. I started the proceedure this afternoon while I was practicing, and then I forgot about it. When I came back to the computer there was an error message telling me to do the installation over again.

Did I mention there were tons of files on this iBook that were not backed up on any of my other Macs? Well, now I have.

So, I reinstalled the OS. It f#¢*@& up again. So I tried a custom install.

When it finally came up, all of my files were lost and it was like a brand new computer.


So I rebooted, to the Apple version of "the blue screen of death"... nothing... nada...

Well, it just so happens that I inherited an unabridged set of tools from my step-dad, and among those tools was the perfect weapon with which to vent my spleen: A real, honest-to-God, carpenter's hammer.

Ten whacks - no more, no less (More than ten would have been gratuitous) - problem "solved."

And, here it is in the dumpster on the way to the landfill... where it belongs.

Yeah, sure; I could have saved it, but why? Things that f#¢* up deserve to die.

Besides, those ten whacks felt very good.

One of these days, someone with exactly half of a brain is going to invent a computer that is as reliable as the Zenith TV I had for twenty years, and then both Microsoft and Apple will be out of bee's wax. Good riddance/Can't happen soon enough.

Can't anybody here play this game? Isn't it obvious that the current computer paradigm needs to be flushed down the toilet with our daily craps?

At least I didn't hit my thumb with the hammer.


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